"I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"
-Calvin & Hobbes-

Sunday, May 29, 2011

What Is Your Language of Love

And yet another test; seems like I can’t get enough of these personality dissections available on the beloved world wide web.

The 5 Love Language

I stumbled upon the ‘5 Love Languages’ site while reading Violet' Lim’s blog. I found her blog interesting and spent some time quite a lot of time just reading her articles which obviously touches about relationships and such. Some really cracked me up especially the section ‘Dating Advice for Guys’.

Anyway back to the Love language test. It was fairly easy to answer all the questions and we now have a ‘He says, She says’ results. My boyfriend is very open to doing all these tests, so we normally ‘marvel’ at each other’s results when we’re done.

 

Love Language Scores

Nana

A-Kuma


8   Words of Affirmation
8   Quality Time
1   Receiving Gifts
8   Acts of Service
5   Physical Touch


7
    Words of Affirmation
10  Quality Time
1    Receiving Gifts
3    Acts of Service
9    Physical Touch

 

Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score
The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It's not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don't affect you very much on an emotional level.

 

Reflection on the Scores

Nana’s Language of Love: Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. Note: But I scored ‘8’ in Acts of Service and Quality Time too. That means for me, actions speaks as loud as words. I want it ALL. Haha!)

If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Note: I don’t need to ‘hear’ all the rosy compliments, I prefer it handwritten in small notes or cards. But yes, that’s pretty much how I like it. ^__^ My bf said my results showed I was quite hard to please (Huhu!) BUT at least I won’t bankrupt him in the process or rather we won’t bankrupt each other in our courtship process (since me and him scored only ‘1’ in Receiving Gifts.)

Talking about insults, that was how we started dating (yah, I can’t believe it myself as well till now) after seeing each other’s profile on match.com. He insulted me so incessantly over MSN, I just HAD to meet him to see if anyone so brazen could be a living, breathing human. Well he was, and some more… turned out to be a really nice chap experimenting on his new self-concocted dating ‘technique’: “Dating By Insults” But hey, it worked! Talk about being original and walking off the beaten path. I should add a disclaimer for guys who wants to try this technique though: ‘Not for the faint-hearted. High chance of TOTAL failure and a glass of water dumped on the head’ (the guy’s HEAD of course).

 

A-Kuma’s Language of Love: Quality Time

Quality Time In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Note: Roger that! Totally in line with what I want as well. ^_^

 

Links

The 5 Love Languages

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=singles

Violet Lim’s Blog

Violet is the co-founder of ‘LUNCH Actually?’ and here is a snippet of their company description: LUNCH Actually is Asia’s first lunch dating specialist who arranges fun and quality dates for busy, pro-active single professionals in a discreet, fun and no pressure environment.

http://www.violetlim.com/

Thursday, May 26, 2011

More Personality Tests

I was recommended to try two more personality tests and I will obtain my type formula according to Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Myers typology. Tests are available on:

Test 1: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Test 2: http://kisa.ca/personality/

 

Results

Both sites gave me consistent results where I am a ISFJ. That didn’t particularly surprise me. In fact, their description of my personality is so spookily dead-on, I would say they described me  ~98% accurately.

The only difference between both sites is in the proportions.

Test 1:        I            S              F            J

                  100%       1%        38%      1%

Note: I seem to be so highly introverted I might as well behave like a mute and communicate with people telepathically. *hangs head in despair*

Test 2:   

Introverted (I) 89%              Extraverted (E) 11%

Sensing (S) 82%                     Intuitive (N) 18%

Feeling (F) 70%                      Thinking (T) 30%

Judging (J) 64%                      Perceiving (P) 36%

Note: Test 2 seems to give a more detailed breakdown. I begin to feel more ‘human’ after looking at the result. ^_^

 

Characteristics of ISFJ

Introverted   Sensing    Feeling    Judging

ISFJs are characterised above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." Their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about - their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their boss, their fellow-workers, or their employees.

They have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in their makeup, Speculating and experimenting do not intrigue them, who prefer to make do with time-honored and time-tested products and procedures rather than change to new. ISFJs value tradition, both in the culture and in their family. They cherish family history and enjoy caring for family property, from houses to heirlooms.

Wanting to be of service to others, ISFJs find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden, and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the ESFJs, and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth ISFJs are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need. Their reserve ought really to be seen as an expression of their sincerity and seriousness of purpose.

The most diligent of all the types, ISFJs are willing to work long, hard hours quietly doing all the thankless jobs that others manage to avoid. They are thorough, methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities. When ISFJs undertake a task, they will complete it if humanly possible. They make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. ISFJs are quite happy working alone; in fact, in positions of authority they may try to do everything themselves rather than direct others to get the job done. They are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. At work ISFJs are seldom happy in situations where the rules are constantly changing,

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJs priority list, their families are the centre of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include self-contained ITs (Introvert/Thinker), the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviours and not interpret them as rejection.

Like most Introverts, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. However, they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. The older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. An adult ISFJ may drive a friend into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a problem they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

They also know better than any other type the value of a dollar, and they abhor the squandering or misuse of money. To save, to put something aside against an unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies-these are actions near and dear to the ISFJ’s heart. For all these reasons, ISFJs are frequently overworked, just as they are frequently misunderstood and undervalued. Their contributions, and also their economies, are often taken for granted, and they rarely get the gratitude they deserve.

 

Information obtained from

http://typelogic.com/isfj.html

http://keirsey.com/4temps/protector.asp

 

More information on the test

Myer-Briggs Type Indicator

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. These preferences were extrapolated from the typological theories proposed by Carl Gustav Jung.

The four pairs of preferences or dichotomies in MBTI assessment.

Attitudes: Extraversion (E) or (I) Introversion

Extraversion: Draw energy from action- they tend to act, then reflect, then act further. To rebuild their energy, extraverts need breaks from time spent in reflection.

Introversion: Expend energy through action- they prefer to reflect, then act, then reflect again. To rebuild their energy, introverts need quiet time alone, away from activity.

Function (Perceiving): Sensing (S) or (N) Intuition

Sensing: More likely to trust information that is in the present, tangible and concrete. Prefer to look for details and facts. They tend to distrust hunches, which seem to come "out of nowhere”.

Intuition Tend to trust information that is more abstract or theoretical, that can be associated with other information (either remembered or discovered). They tend to trust those flashes of insight that seem to bubble up from the unconscious mind.

Function (Judging): Thinking (T) or (F) Feeling

The thinking and feeling functions are both used to make rational decisions, based on the data received from their information-gathering functions (sensing or intuition).

Thinking: Tend to decide things from a more detached standpoint, measuring the decision by what seems reasonable, logical, causal, consistent and matching a given set of rules.

Feeling: Tend to come to decisions by associating or empathising with the situation, looking at it 'from the inside' and weighing the situation to achieve, on balance, the greatest harmony, consensus and fit, considering the needs of the people involved.

Lifestyle: Judgment (J) or (P) Perception

People also have a preference for using either the judging function (thinking or feeling) or their perceiving function (sensing or intuition) when relating to the outside world (extraversion).

Judging types like to "have matters settled."

Thinking/Judgment (TJ): TJ types tend to appear to the world as logical

Feeling/Judgement (FJ): FJ types as empathetic

Perceptive types prefer to "keep decisions open."

Sensing/Perception (SP): SP types tend to appear to the world as concrete

Intuition/Perception (NP): NP types as abstract

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Sad Breakup Songs

I was just watching Glee and there was a great song sung by Rachel which was obviously a sad love song. She was staring at Quinn and Finn dancing at the Junior Prom with her pain-filled doe eyes.

This has been a morbid fascination of mine, to listen to sad breakup songs. It obviously doesn’t do any wonders for my disposition after listening to them but I can appreciate the heartfelt lyrics and how the singers perform it. In fact I have some uncanny affinity with all these sad songs that I mistaken them for LOVE songs even (Note: Duncan Sheik’s ‘Half-Life’ and Natalie Merchant’s ‘Seven Years’). I doubt I make a very good wedding song planner.

The following is my list of Top 5 favourite sad break-up songs and some snippets of the lyrics that reverberates through me.

 

No. 1    Almost Lover (A Fine Frenzy)

AFF

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

 

 

No. 2    Ashes and Wine (A Fine Frenzy)

AFF2

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tear storming sea
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

Shut it out
I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

 

 

No. 3     Jar of Hearts (Christina Perry)

christina-perry-lovestrong

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

And who do you think you are?
Running ‘round leaving scars
Collecting a jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

 

 

No. 4    In Terms of Love (She Daisy)

SheDaisy

Now and then I confess you cross my mind
Now and then I guess I have a little too much time
I've changed my way of thinking
I've tried hard to separate what came too soon
From what came too late

I don't think about me in terms of you
I don't think about you in terms of us
I don't think about us in terms of love
I don't think about then in terms of now
I found a way to start again somehow
I don't think about what we thought it was
Oh, in terms of love

I don't think about black in terms of grey
Or revelations in the light of day
I don't think about cold in terms of ice
Or second chances happenin' twice

 

 

No. 5    Someone Like You (Adele)

113_2577243_adele

 

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl
And you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true
I guess she gave you things
I didn’t give to you

Nevermind
I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best
For you too
Don’t forget me
I beg
I’ll remember you say
’Sometimes it lasts in love’
’But sometimes it hurts instead’

 

Eteract Personality Test

I signed myself up to an online dating site Eteract: Online Speed Dating for Serious Singles (www.eteract.com).


Let me backtrack a little. My close friend was considering re-activating her account on Match.com, a popular online dating site and I was looking around at alternative sites for her. I am very fond of Match having met my current boyfriend there and we have been dating quite happily for about 1yr plus. I do believe that online dating sites provide a good way of meeting people we would otherwise not meet in our current social circle. Problem is that when I was looking through profiles of guys on Match two weeks back, all of them seems so bland that I wonder if my friend should spend anytime on it. But I also do know that if she does nothing, Mr Right is not going to crawl out of her washing machine or fly into her room and she is no closer to meeting anyone suitable. But I digress.


Back to Eteract, I was trying to find if they have a better ‘pool’ of guys available versus Match. I have since deactivated my Eteract account as not to mislead anyone. After a quick look-see, I wasn’t terribly impressed with the guys recommended to me. I didn’t have the time (or energy) to run through all the profiles so my judgement could be pretty skewed. Anyway I’m ever the optimist so I would still let my friend know about this alternative site. My friend might actually adore all the guys available on Eteract.


Eteract has some very interesting features on the site. It goes without saying a person would have to subscribe to those fancy services. Free services are limited to posting of one’s picture and searching other profiles. Regardless, Eteract is quite unique as they offer online games to play while getting to know each other plus other nifty interactive features which I haven’t gotten round to reading. I thought games were a brilliant idea since I got to know my bf better over a ruthless game of chess on Yahoo Games and the loser had to treat winner to a meal (Note- I lost the game btw and it was not through lack of trying).


One feature that impressed me about Eteract was their personality test. At least for me, it was a pretty dead-on description of my personality and attitude in a relationship. So it seems I am the ‘Steadfast Ally’ with a longer explanation below.


The Steadfast Ally

You are...

Easy-going. A good listener. Patient. Reliable. Loyal. Sensitive to Criticisms. A team player. Steady. Stable. Predictable. Understanding. Friendly. Calm. Consistent.

Your strengths...

You are a peace maker. You are patient and empathetic and good at reconciling conflicts. You are good at making others feel like they belong. And you often come across as sincere. You are full of common sense. You are dependable and you provide stability to any relationship you are in. You are realistic and practical. You do not like conflicts and you are usually compliant towards authority. You are even-tempered and loyal.

Dating Advice for The Steadfast Ally

1. Be more open to change. The Steadfast Ally usually resists change and takes a long time to adjust. If your date suggests an activity out of your comfort zone e.g. wakeboarding, take up the challenge, and broaden your horizons! (Note: How true! I almost died from shock when I was asked on an ATV ‘date’. I tried to ‘barter’ my way out from it from wanting to pay him to cancel it to buying him a truckload of junkfood. I did go for it in the end…it was scary but exhilarating!)

2. Be more direct in your interactions. You have the tendency to be openly agreeable even when you inwardly disagree. When you are in a relationship, be more direct and share your concerns and doubts so that your partner knows how you truly feel. (Note: Well, I only do this to a certain degree to avoid conflicts but I would normally still make my opinion and feelings known)

3. Show more initiative. One of your strengths is stable, practical and predictable. Hence sometimes, you might come across as 'boring'. Surprise your date by showing more initiative e.g. arranging a picnic by the beach, or a weekend getaway at a nearby island resort. (Note: Quite true… my bf is the one coming up with most of the interesting activities to do. Memo to self: Be more creative and interesting!)

4. Be less sensitive. As you are an empathetic and sensitive soul, you tend to also be very sensitive to criticism. And sometimes, you might even hold grudges. Try to keep an open mind when you think your partner is criticizing you. Sometimes, he or she might not even be aware of what he/she has just said! (Note: I was already very aware of my extreme sensitivity as a great personality flaw)

If you are dating The Steadfast Ally

1. The Steadfast Ally's greatest fear is loss of security. Sudden changes in lifestyle would trigger their sense of loss of security. So, if you would like to introduce some changes to your dating routine, do it gently as not to 'startle' The Steadfast Ally. (Note: Well yes, I don’t adapt easily to changes)

2. Flattery and buttery is not going to work for The Steadfast Ally. Express a genuine interest in them. Only praise them when you truly mean it. Express appreciation when they have taken the initiative to do something special for you, especially when they have stepped out of their comfort zone to do it. (Note: Very true as well! False praises insult my intelligence)

3. The Steadfast Ally dislikes conflicts and arguments. They enjoy a peaceful atmosphere. Try to be less pushy and confrontational, and draw them into a calm and peaceful discussion. Else, they might stonewall you. (Note: That’s SO true. Partly bad Cancerian trait of retreating into their shell and not surface)

4. If you are dating Ms. Steadfast Ally, be sure to have a plan for the evening. She is usually easy-going and would like her guy to take the lead. (Note: Haha…yah, the only exciting thing I will suggest is watching anime or Korean drama or Glay concert DVD or snoozing. Memo of self: Gosh, I am REALLY boring!!)


Monday, May 23, 2011

The Future


It feels SAD when

1. Past events linger

2. Hurt is inflicted unintentionally

3. Nothing seems to help make it better


1892

Too forlorn-looking @_@


It feels HAPPY when

1. Being LoVed unconditionally

2. LoVing unconditionally

3. Being healthy!


I choose HAPPY and look forward to the future…


HappyGoLuckyDog

My long-term aim (the happy smiling part, not pulling a sled)



Saturday, May 21, 2011

Obsession with GLAY



I can't remember the exact event that triggered my obsession with Glay but it was definitely the time I was working at KLIA and started watching J-dramas. During lunch time, I would browse the Japanese titles available in the music store at KLIA. I knew about Glay but never got round to hearing anything from them besides one or two songs used for some J-drama OSTs.


Oddly the KLIA music store has those bootlegged Glay concert DVDs (made in Taiwan version) which was cheap to buy albeight lousy video quality. Needless to say I was hooked. It was mesmerising to see them on stage as they are great performers!! I went back to the shop and bought everything of Glay from them. I depleted KLIA's supply of Glay merchandise! Good thing I had some staff discount ^^


Songs

1. The first song I fell in love with was 'However' followed by 'Beloved'

2. The first song I learnt to sing was 'Mayfair'.

3. And for the longest time, I was into 'Mermaid' which was totally hard-rocking. I especially love the guitar playing by Takuro and Hisashi! Teru looks really good in the PV as well :P I even bought the single when I was in Japan last year. *happy happy*

4. Later part of Glay's career (after 2002), had songs which I didn't particularly enjoy too much. That changed when I heard 'Beautiful Dreamer', 'Peak Hateshinaku Soul Kagirinaku' and 'Scream' (with EXILE). Obsession rate hit 130% again.

5. They released their 11th album 'Glay' under their own recording label 'Loversoul Music & Associates' in 2010. I haven't gotten my hands on it yet but I quite like 'Satellite of Love' used for the anime Je T'aime. The PV is downright depressing...I demand a happy ending for the poor dog!

6. I SOOooo want to attend their concert and visit Hokkaido since Glay is from that island. A girl can dream... ^_^


Few jumbled reasons why I Love Glay:

1. Teru has a voice that is so UNIQUE. Of all lead singers, his voice is instantly recognisable (aside from Hyde from L'Arc-en-Ciel).

Teru 15 years ago *lol*


Current Teru


2. Takuro is so friggin talented. Maestro songwriter, composer & guitarist! Most (99.9%) of Glay's songs are composed by Takuro. Even if it's a hard-rocking song, it's often melodic with great arrangement. What more could someone ask for.

Takuro


3. Hisashi looks way cool when playing the guitar! He is into visual kei (lotsa make-up especially around the eyes) and wear outfits that looks like skirts on stage *gasp* And No, I don't know why he looks so feminine. He is married though ^^

Hisashi


Hisashi


4. And who could forget baby-face Jiro with the bass. After 15 years he still looks the same and he is abt 40 yrs old now @_@

Jiro

And the obsession that began in 2005 continues.....

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Life...


While I'm doing this Palliative Care course, discussing about death and dying is common. The UK National Council for Palliative Care has dedicated this week (16th - 22nd May 2011) as 'Awareness Week' which is part of their 'Dying Matters: Let's Talk About It' campaign. It's basically to encourage people to talk about their wishes towards the end of their lives.
http://www.ncpc.org.uk



One of the things they ask people to think about is to list down '5 Things To Do Before I Die'. I have thought about my list and came out with something like this:
1) Get married (hahaha...) and have children (raise them to be useful citizens)
2) Be more charitable
3) Learn a new language (it's probably between Mandarin or Japanese)
4) Tone up my body (Having some defined abs would be nice...huhu)
5) Have some coordination skills (It could be driving or executing some nifty dance moves)


I also just read sad news that an IMU alumni from the medical batch passed away yesterday after a 4 yr battle with cancer. He was 33 yrs and married his sweetheart when he was in remission from cancer. He started a blog of his journey which I found very inspiring where he kept his faith and his humor throughout the harrowing 4 years. May he rest in peace.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/towshungtan/mystory


On a lighter note, there was a joke about dying. I know most people might find jokes about dying a little tasteless but I found this rather funny.

Robin Hood is dying and he is lying weak in his bedroom. He has Lady Marion and Friar Tuck next to him. Robin Hood says to them "Bring me my bow, bring me my favourite arrow. I'm going to fire them out through the window and where ever my arrow drops, you must promise me that's where you will bury me." Both of them agreed to the request. So Robin Hood fires the arrow and .......they had to bury him on top of the wardrobe.


And for many wondering what palliative care means, the following is one definition by NICE (National institute for Health and Clinical Excellence)

Palliative care is the active holistic care of patients with advanced progressive illness. Management of pain and other symptoms and provision of psychological, social and spiritual support is paramount. The goal of palliative care is achievement of the best quality of life for patients and their families. Many aspects of palliative care are also applicable earlier in the course of the illness in conjunction with other treatments.


Palliative care aims to:

  • Affirm life and regard dying as a normal process
  • Provide relief from pain and other distressing symptoms
  • Integrate the psychological and spiritual aspects of patient care
  • Offer a support system to help patients live as actively as possible until death
  • Offer a support system to help the family cope during the patient’s illness and in their own bereavement

Thursday, April 14, 2011

First Post of 2011 from London - Hairy topic


One year away from my blog till I can't even remember the URL.

Well for this week of April, I have managed to maintain very good hair hygiene. Since I have to catch the bus every morning to get to St Christophers, I decided I MUST wash my hair daily what with all the dirt in the bus and the air. I guess it goes without saying that I do notice my hair looking more healthy with daily washes. No more being lazy about this from now on. ^_^

Being a freak in buying haircare products, it's no great wonder I am now rotating between 3 different shampoos and 5 different conditioners. My current favorite haircare brand is John Frieda and I'm using the Root Awakening shampoo/conditioner range together with the Frizz-Ease Emergency Treatment Leave in Conditioning Spray. I absolutely love the spray! For the first time in my tumultuous hair history, I can look into the mirror and feel quite pleased. Those frizzy little wire-like hair normally sticking out at the top of my head seems to have miraculously lost its will to annoy me and behaves like good normal hair. What more could I ask for. I'm lugging back those little aerosol cans when I return to Malaysia. Only downside is that its quite expensive but not as expensive as other salon brands I reckon.


My favorite anti-frizz spray


And my new purchase which I haven't had a chance to really trying it out yet - Frizz-Ease Overnight Serum

Fingers crossed that it will be effective